Marriage Problems

Next Article: Help Save Marriage - PULL It Together - It Can Be Done.

If you need urgent help and are crying out: "help save marriage," you will have to pull it together, by your bootstraps if you have to. You will have to give your all to save your marriage. Of course it is very upsetting to watch your marriage, which was once so precious and important, start falling apart. Your heart is probably breaking as you watch the two of you start going your separate ways. You do not want this to happen! You have to do something!

So, you have to pull it all together again. You have to help save marriage.

1. First of all, calm down: Take a moment to catch your breath and step back from the situation. You do not have to take a break, necessarily; you must simply give yourself some time to calm down. Before you try and do anything you have to cool off. Not necessarily take a break from it but to just calm down. It is easy for things to get over-heated. The old trick of counting to ten, when you are all angry, is a very good one to use now! Get yourself under control before you do anything! Before you do anything else, take a breath. The next time something is said to you that makes you mad, calm down, get a hold of yourself and then let go of your anger. Only then can you truly learn how to communicate and take the next step to help save marriage.

2. Now you have to understand what is happening: While you are "chilling out" and taking a moment to breathe, take a look at what is happening. Now you have to look at the situation unemotionally, emotions only lead you to danger. Have a look at the big picture; look at things from a different perspective. Remember, it is probably looking far worse than it is from where you are standing. Look at it as if from the "outside!" Now look at it from your loved one's perspective. Try and get into your spouse's body. Also look at it from a complete outsider's perspective. (By the way, this is why marriage counseling works. You are helped to look at things in perspective.) From the outside, things may not look so bad at all. You may be surprised to find an easy solution to the whole problem. What appears as one big huge problem from the inside may only be something small.

 3. Have a look at the little things you can do to improve things: You may also become aware of the little things you do that are jeopardizing your marriage. Here is a quote from a newsletter I receive from Proverbs 31 Ministries, called "Encouragement For Today" and it is the March 19, 2009 devotion written by Lysa TerKeurst(bulleting mine:) "Seemingly small things that can cause great destruction as well ... especially when it comes to my marriage. * Words vented in frustration can seem so small. * Slightly disrespectful attitudes can seem so small. * Complaining about lack of finances can seem so small. * Brushing off his desires can seem so small. * Making mental lists of things you wish were different about him can seem so small. But each one of these seemingly small things can so easily and tragically wedge itself into the core of a marriage and send it screaming toward destruction" So, keep these in mind, you may not even be aware of doing things like this, yet in the long run it can spell disaster. It may very well be the reason for your problems. You are each going your own way, not including the other enough.

4. Now something you may not think of, laugh at yourselves: Don't take this as if you must make light of this dire situation. It only means you have to lighten up and not take yourself so serious. You may be making mountains of mole hills. It is easy to let things snowball out of control. By looking at it you may be able to see what actually started it all. It may be something small and insignificant. This is where you will probably land up laughing. It can be hilarious to find out how a minuscule thing can turn into something so huge when it didn't have to. It can be hilarious if you are willing to let it be. Many times when people go through a rough time they will say, "Sometime we are going to look back at this and laugh!" Why wait?

5. Now comes the hard work - look for ways to improve: Now that you have had a change to cool off and look at things from the outside, it is time to start looking for ways you can improve the situation. You now have a better perspective on the situation and you can now move on! You should now know what the root of the problem is. You now know that the problem is actually a very small thing that is easily manageable. Here you will have to commit yourself to finding a way to improve this. It is time for action. Also, remember, do what it takes from your side.

First correct the things you are responsible for. Maybe you have gotten into the bad habit of overreacting; now you have to learn not to do it. You may be the one responsible for blowing things way out of proportion, so stop!
Improve the way you handle situations and everything else may just fall into place to help save marriage. To help save marriage, work on it together. Bring back the two of you as it belongs. To help save marriage can be done easier than you think if you are willing to invest some effort in it.

We @ marriage problems recommend you, Click Here to enter Amy Watermans Official Website to see her e-book "Save My Marriage Today!"
 

Next Article: The Marriage Power Struggle.

Real love is a collection of memories of positive experiences connected to your partner. You start your marriage with a vast bundle of feelings connected to the memories. We call this bundle "real love." Remembering and reliving a memory Memories fade over time, unless they are remembered and relived.

If you are terrifically organized, you might make a list of your top 100 memories of you and your partner. Then, you could start at the top of your list and remember and relive each experience that made you happy. Photos, scrapbooks, diaries all contain links to those memories. Even without those links, you can remember many, many times when you shared a connection to your partner.
By remembering and reliving the memories, you keep them fresh and you keep them close. Each time you refresh a memory you're adding to your bundle of love. Sharing a memory with someone else Every time you share a memory with your partner or a friend, you are reliving it and refreshing it. You are adding to your bundle.
Each telling brings the memory more alive. You get to experience the good feelings attached to that memory again and again. Writing about a memory You bring a memory to life when you write it down. You could start a diary of loving memories. You could begin a journal of your memories. You could start a blog and share your happy, loving memories with anyone who happens on it. One wonderful woman told me, "Because of the war, he shipped out soon after our marriage. I kept my love alive by remembering and reliving the happy experiences we shared before we were parted. I wrote him daily, recounting my memories and the love I felt. When he returned, our love was stronger than when he left." Create new happy memories Add to your bundle of love by continually adding positive shared experiences. (Sometimes you have to fight all of the other demands on your time to make sure you put aside time to do something with your partner that you both enjoy.) If you keep romance alive in your marriage, with regular dates, you can do the things that lovers and loving couples do to keep the fires of love alive.

Keep adding new memories and your love bundle will keep growing. Rewrite History — Turn Bad Memories Into Good Studies of the happiest people show clearly that they have the ability to take bad memories and find the good in them. If you have any bad memories of shared experiences with your partner, find some good in each one. Something you learned. Something that made you better or stronger. Something that helped make you more resilient. Anytime one of the bad memories comes to mind, pair it with the good you found in it, and with time and practice you'll only have good memories associated with your partner. Protect your love: cope immediately with any bad feelings Coping takes the sting out of a fight, harsh words, or other marriage damaging event.

Coping switches immediately away from the strong negative emotions and uses questions and reason to handle bad experiences. The opposite of coping is reliving or re-experiencing the bad experience. Every time you mentally replay the harsh words or damaging actions by your partner, you are eroding your bundle of love. Your goal is to grow your love. Mental replays of bad experiences don't do that. Practice Accepting, Forgiving, and Forgetting Accepting, Forgiving, and Forgetting are the strongest tools in your arsenal.

They will help you grow your bundle and keep it from eroding. As Ruth Graham Bell said, "A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers." A happy marriage — that lasts — is built on an ever-growing bundle of love. Sometimes it takes distorting history, accepting the unacceptable,forgiving the unforgivable, and forgetting the unforgettable. All of these are a small price to pay for the genuine joy that comes from a happy loving marriage that lasts. I think you should know about some Most Common Marriage problems so that you dont make the same mistakes again.

We @ marriage problems recommend you, Click Here to enter Amy Watermans Official Website to see her e-book "Save My Marriage Today!"
 

Next Article: What Should You Tell Your Children When There Are Problems in Your Marriage?

In our world today the one thing that seems missing is commitment. Commitment for a healthy lifestyle or commitment for saving your marriage is missing for many people. A broken engagement which is often occurs when there is a lack of commitment. A broken engagement can be a tough situation to get beyond. When you get to the wedding ceremony and beyond the wedding vows being taken most people expect the commitment made on their wedding day to last through the lifetime. When either party fails to keep this commitment it is a hard blow.

Being willing to work together through the tough times in the marriage and build an even stronger relationship as a result is just expected with the commitment that should be there for each other.

Commitment stays when the storms come.
Commitment loves when disappointment presents.
Commitment does not run away.
Commitment does not blame.
Commitment does not find fault.
Commitment does not separate.
Commitment does not divorce.
Commitment finds a way.
Commitment prefers the other partner.
Commitment understands.
Commitment is kind.
Commitment trusts.
Commitment believes.
Commitment seeks help.
Commitment has a happy lifelong marriage.
Are you committed to your partner?
Are you willing to do what it takes to see your marriage work?
Are you willing to take responsibility for the trouble your marriage is in?
Commitment will help you to see your marriage works. Commitment will help you take responsibility of the problems. Commitment will save your marriage. A marriage in trouble more than likely got there by lack of commitment. A marriage saved required commitment to survive. The missing element of commitment in a relationship when put in place will allow the puzzle of the relationship to be complete once again.

 We @ marriage problems recommend you, Click Here to enter Amy Watermans Official Website to see her e-book "Save My Marriage Today!"     Next Article: 5 Marriage Tips To Save A Marriage You Want Saved.   Whether you are a happily newly wed or are having problems with you marriage the secrets to saving your marriage can make the difference in your relationship.A marriage should be both strong and healthy able to withstand unforeseen difficulties and enjoy wedded bliss. Marriage should be a blessing for both partners. Gaining understanding and paying attention to the needs of each other builds a strong relationship.

The problem with a lot of couples is that when they have "talked it over" in the past they really didn't talk it over. They had a yelling match in the heat of the situation and no one wins in those situations. Are you interested in strengthening your marriage? A man and woman both have sexual needs that should be fulfilled within the marriage to build a strong relationship. Fulfilling the sexual desires of your partner is the best assurance for fidelity. Each partner should make themselves, attractive and appealing to each other. You should plan for some private time for just the two without the cares of everyday life. Kisses, hugs, caresses, and words of love all set the scene for intimacy sure to please both partners. Developing a healthy sex relationship does take some work and planning but will strengthen and nurture the marriage.

 Another important part that can not be overlooked is the need to communicate with each other your desires, needs, and feelings. With open and direction communication about your sex life together you can discover a happy and satisfying sex life. Keeping the warm fires of love alive in your relationship is an important part of maintaining a happy, fulfilled and satisfied marriage. Keeping the love fires glowing or perhaps it is rekindling the love fires can save your marriage and lead you to happier life.

We @ marriage problems recommend you, Click Here to enter Amy Watermans Official Website to see her e-book "Save My Marriage Today!"